There is a reason why Becker's BITZ blogger chose to reside in a part of the country where one could admire the flat frozen variety of rain in spotty to rare instances. Here, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, is a proposal for the winter weather disadvantaged.
A modest proposal for bad weather
By Sam Ryan
As our nation’s capital digs out from yet another blizzard, the problem of unregulated snow can no longer be ignored. It’s time for Congress to set limits on the crystalline mayhem that descends through the atmosphere wreaking havoc on all hard-working Americans.
Certainly, snow-control legislation would require political willpower and bipartisan support. But if today’s policymakers cannot put an end to snowstorms, none of us will escape these boom-and-bust blizzards that undermine the foundations of our nation’s prosperity.
Consider the facts
Local governments — particularly plow crews — cannot deal with snow effectively. Weatherpersons “predict” snow, but don’t do anything about it. With the D.C. area yet again buried in nearly 2 feet, essential federal services have been shut down. Many government workers are being encouraged to take leave days after the initial powder dump.
Snow is costly for taxpayers, as well. Salting roads even in a Southern state like North Carolina requires 29,000 tons of sodium chloride costing some $2.5 million. And then there are the trucks and plows and workers on extended overtime — all of which gobble up taxpayer dollars and break budgets.
But the costs of snow removal are insignificant compared to the billions of dollars lost through decreased economic productivity.
Snowbound businesses close down. Consumers don’t shop. Schools shut their doors. Even the financial sector freezes. As soon as it started snowing, the World Bank declared a holiday.
With every flake that falls from the sky, roads become increasingly slick. Traffic comes to a standstill. Hospital emergency rooms overflow with accidents and falls, driving up health costs. Public transportation seizes up. Airports shut down, flights are diverted, and Amtrak suspends service.
Unfortunately, because snow is a global phenomenon, banning it will require worldwide cooperation. But the first step is regulating it in the United States. As we’ve seen countless times, building an international consortium — particularly through the United Nations — invariably requires U.S. leadership and support.
Regulating snowfall won’t be easy. There are several constitutional and practical challenges, but none is insurmountable.
The most obvious question is whether the federal government actually has the authority to ban snow. Federalist diehards — who claim that virtually any Washington regulation intrudes upon states’ rights — would invariably challenge the law citing the 10th Amendment.
But a Supreme Court challenge predicated on states’ rights is unlikely to succeed for one obvious reason. Snow is not confined to individual states. The Commerce Clause empowers the federal government to regulate matters that spill — or, in this case, blow — over state lines. Simply put, the Supreme Court is unlikely to interpret snowfall as a state issue.
The bigger problem is the practical one. Regulating precipitation — or even banning snow entirely — won’t actually stop snow from falling. Virtually all meteorologists agree that — given certain atmospheric conditions — snow will continue to fall from the sky regardless of any federal law.
Although this may seem like an intractable problem, there is a simple solution. Congress should create a special committee — comprised of a blue-ribbon panel of experts (with at least one labor member) — to study the problem and submit recommendations four years hence, at which time a more effective law could be passed.
The committee — and its various subcommittees — could be funded by a penny-per-shovel tax. Some might argue that taxing shovels could actually exacerbate the snow problem by discouraging Americans from buying them. But this problem can also be fixed by legislation.
Congress could simply mandate that all Americans purchase shovels. Yes, we’d need a carve-out for Alaskans who already own shovels, and perhaps a Medicaid-style program for those who cannot afford them. But those are minor details that could be worked out in conference committee.
Sam Ryan is CEO of Keybridge Communications, a Washington-based public relations company.
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